There’s one striking and strong emotion that comes with motherhood that nobody probably ever told you. If you’re thinking “love” well, you’re correct but I’m referring to GUILT in this blog post. Yes, Mom Guilt.
“I’m the worst mom ever” was a phrase I said to myself often many times from when I first became a mom in 2012 to around 2016 and even sometimes now before switching hats.
Mom guilt greeted me many mornings when I would dress up for the office; prepare my baby of six months old for the creche and spent hours at work only to return exhausted in the evenings to pick him up.
Mom guilt ripped me off me when I woke up early one morning to the cry of my infant child on the floor having rolled off my bed the night my husband was out of town.
Mom guilt hugged me when I was only able to repeat meals like cereal, pap and noodles for my toddlers on a regular basis while I watch other children of their age eat a variety of meals.
Mom guilt hit me many times when I was too tired, exhausted, and unable to go for events in my children’s school like Mother’s Day where ‘every’ other mother was present except me. ‘I’m the worst mom ever’, I repeated to myself.
Guess what, I many times felt like my children’s nanny waiting for their mother to come and take charge and put everything under control with a magic wand. We’ve all been mocked by mom guilt even in minor situations and no one ever fully graduate from it.
The amazing thing about these is that is that there’s a positive side to it. Oh yes, there is. And somehow, by the grace and mercies of God, our children have been just fine and turns out well. If you have downloaded my free eBook on lessons from Timeless Mothers, do well to read it to learn how the Timeless Mothers were able to cope.
So… why all these mom guilt, you may ask?
Here’s the thing…
Guilt is an emotion developed from human connections. It is a feeling that arises whenever we feel that we’ve done something wrong to a person we are connected to. In this case, the child(ren) from our very own womb. You can imagine right? That mother and child connection transcends mere emotions to biological and even spiritual connections; hence it is stronger. But what if I tell you it’s okay?
The next time mom guilt knocks on your door, activate the positive side to it by reminding yourself that you’re a good mom.
REL – meaning: Reflect, Evaluate and Learn from those situations that made you felt like a worst mom. See mom guilt as a means to an end, not an end in itself; or a moral compass to a better you. Mom guilt has placed me on the current path I’m threading and the work I do as a life coach for children and teens. So, instead of denying that feeling, embrace it, stay focused on your motherhood/parenting goals and learn the lessons that comes with it.
Do you have mom guilt experiences to share with us? Drop a comment below, I would love to read from you.
Author, Motherhood: A Double-Edged Sword